Well-Intended Advice

This is the story of a physiotherapy both addict and victim. In order to help potential captives of this wizzard, I decided to share a couple of tips, that may help to soothe the painful process of healing (first stage) and the following - unexpected - process of breaking the excercise-addiction (second stage).

Lets randomly decide, solely for a better illustration, that an injured and soon-to-be-healed limb is the arm.
(Due to the sensitivity of the subject, no names will be mentioned, unless otherwise stated.)

1) Even though your physiotherapist breaks your arm, he is your friend. He does that for your own good.
2) If he breaks too many limbs, that might be a sign, that he is no more your friend, but a sadist.
3) If you are bitter about having just one hand in use, do not give way to the sentiments! It has numerous advantages: You are exempted from many tasks at work, you are excused when dressed up loosely, you have now a  justifiable excuse for shopping delivery, cleaning help, long siestas etc.
4) Do not argue with your doctor/physiotherapist about the proper way to deal with the pain. As a rule, the doctor will say something else than the physiotherapist. Follow your intuition and the advice of your Grandma.
5) When a physiotherapist suggests taking some more rest in between the excercises, take him seriously. It is not a joke.
6) When a physiotherapist says you should try to give him a slap with your injured arm, do not take him seriously. It is a joke.
7) A few tips for excersices at home:
- Do not excercise before your morning cup of coffee/tea/juice/schnapps. It might be counterproductive (not sure whether this is related to the morning dosis of your preffered beverage, or to the time span between getting up and the exercise).
- Do not use a broken chair for the sitting exercises.
- If you use a plastic bottle to lean on, while sitting, make sure it is empty, or - if filled - that it is sealed.
- If you use an umbrella instead of a bar, it should not be the umbrella that automatically opens up.
8) When you sense some progress, let it make you happy, but do not exaggerate. It will take long time until you reach your normal condition. Remember, that while it is a good sign that you can dress up quicker than a week ago, there were times in the past, when it took you to half a minute, not 5 minutes, to put on the tights.
9) During the hydrotherapy, never ever get into the way of those who learn to swim. It might cost you another visit in the hospital.
10) You will probably join the group of seniors schlepping around in the swimming pool, slowly moving their arms and legs. Do not allow yourself feel old. You are an aqua bella acrobat!
11) If you run a blog, remember, that your typing skills are weakened. Write slowly, take breaks (try not to forget, what you had in mind), or type with one hand only (the healthy one). Yipe!
12) Most important: If you are single, don't cry that there is nobody to help you. There would probably be nobody to help you even when you were married, because you would have certainly tried to be brave and would not complain (and yes, this might be one of the reasons, why you are still single). If you are married and you wonder why your partner doesn't help you, just stop behaving as if you were brave and start to complain.

Some of you might also have similar experience. Do not hesitate to share. Physiotherapy is no more a stigma and it is definitely not the reason why nobody talks to you now!