Parshat Acharei Mot-Kedoshim

A few thoughts on the last double-Parasha, Acharei mot - Kedoshim.

'You shall not defile your daughter by making her a harlot, lest the Land fall into harlotry, and   the land be filled with immorality.' (19, 29)

You may like it or not, but prostitution, even though seen as the oldest profession in the world, doesn't belong to the Jewish system of values. Certainly, if a girl is still under the auspice of the parents, she is not to be submitted to a man for his pleasure. We can ask, what happens with the society, where young women live for a long period before they get married out of the parental house and can independently choose what to do. It seems to me that the story goes as with other aspects of morality - since the world today is more open and people are less bound by structures, they are at the same time challenged more in the field of morality. Their right choice has higher value, because it is technically so easy, the world does not condemn that, there is almost no stigma. Therefore, I think nowadays a single girl simply should behave to herself as if she was her own father (however ridiculous it sounds). The message is still clear - harlotry is something that should not happen in Eretz Yisrael.
(And a question remains: Is harlotry halachically to be understood in the wide terms of Rashi?)


'A male who lies with a male as one would with a woman, both of them have commited an abomination...' (20, 13)

Although a sensitive subject, especially in religious society, it must be talked in proportions. Here, I understand, with the help of Rashi, that the forbidden male-male relations are those, that emulate the male-female sexual relations (see Rashi there). Any other intimate relationship between two men can be viewed as strange, not ideal or whatever, if we want to criticise, but not as immoral from the point of view of the Torah. 

This does not help so much those who would like to see one-sex marriages (if so, we should probably re-define the institution of marriage), but it definitively can help those who struggle with their own homosexuality - not because they would feel themselves problematic, but maybe only because of the negative reaction to condemnation by people around.

And a bit of life experience - not related to this Parasha, but to my recent Shabbat guests. There first or second visit in Israel. They looked around. They saw rosemary plants, birds, ficuses, everything in much bigger version than to be found abroad. Suddenly, everything seemed to them so huge. And I could not help not thinking of the first visitors to Eretz Yisrael after Exodus - the spies. What was their impression? What did they bring backto show the soon-to-be olim chadashim?

Well-Intended Advice

This is the story of a physiotherapy both addict and victim. In order to help potential captives of this wizzard, I decided to share a couple of tips, that may help to soothe the painful process of healing (first stage) and the following - unexpected - process of breaking the excercise-addiction (second stage).

Lets randomly decide, solely for a better illustration, that an injured and soon-to-be-healed limb is the arm.
(Due to the sensitivity of the subject, no names will be mentioned, unless otherwise stated.)

1) Even though your physiotherapist breaks your arm, he is your friend. He does that for your own good.
2) If he breaks too many limbs, that might be a sign, that he is no more your friend, but a sadist.
3) If you are bitter about having just one hand in use, do not give way to the sentiments! It has numerous advantages: You are exempted from many tasks at work, you are excused when dressed up loosely, you have now a  justifiable excuse for shopping delivery, cleaning help, long siestas etc.
4) Do not argue with your doctor/physiotherapist about the proper way to deal with the pain. As a rule, the doctor will say something else than the physiotherapist. Follow your intuition and the advice of your Grandma.
5) When a physiotherapist suggests taking some more rest in between the excercises, take him seriously. It is not a joke.
6) When a physiotherapist says you should try to give him a slap with your injured arm, do not take him seriously. It is a joke.
7) A few tips for excersices at home:
- Do not excercise before your morning cup of coffee/tea/juice/schnapps. It might be counterproductive (not sure whether this is related to the morning dosis of your preffered beverage, or to the time span between getting up and the exercise).
- Do not use a broken chair for the sitting exercises.
- If you use a plastic bottle to lean on, while sitting, make sure it is empty, or - if filled - that it is sealed.
- If you use an umbrella instead of a bar, it should not be the umbrella that automatically opens up.
8) When you sense some progress, let it make you happy, but do not exaggerate. It will take long time until you reach your normal condition. Remember, that while it is a good sign that you can dress up quicker than a week ago, there were times in the past, when it took you to half a minute, not 5 minutes, to put on the tights.
9) During the hydrotherapy, never ever get into the way of those who learn to swim. It might cost you another visit in the hospital.
10) You will probably join the group of seniors schlepping around in the swimming pool, slowly moving their arms and legs. Do not allow yourself feel old. You are an aqua bella acrobat!
11) If you run a blog, remember, that your typing skills are weakened. Write slowly, take breaks (try not to forget, what you had in mind), or type with one hand only (the healthy one). Yipe!
12) Most important: If you are single, don't cry that there is nobody to help you. There would probably be nobody to help you even when you were married, because you would have certainly tried to be brave and would not complain (and yes, this might be one of the reasons, why you are still single). If you are married and you wonder why your partner doesn't help you, just stop behaving as if you were brave and start to complain.

Some of you might also have similar experience. Do not hesitate to share. Physiotherapy is no more a stigma and it is definitely not the reason why nobody talks to you now!

Sunny day

 

שמש שימשה שמשייה לשושנה ושמעון שושניק

נווד נדד בנווה נידח - נודניק

Shabbat afternoon and Pirkei Avot on the stage

'Yose ben Yochanan of Jerusalem says: Let your house be open for relief and let the poor be members of your household.'

While sitting on the balcony and reading the Mishna from Pirkei Avot, children were playing outside, supervised by their mothers. Birds were singing and the sun was shining. Regular post-Pesach Shabbat.
A group of people passed by, it was close to the time of the third Shabbat meal. One of the passing women entered our little jungle and asked for the possibility to use a bathroom. Even though she was pregnant, she apologized saying, that she was on her way from Bait Vegan, and has still a piece of walk in front of her, and... One of the women stood up and took her to her house. Everything was so obvious, so clear. No hesitation.
I decided to share the story, because from what we hear from the news, read on the internet etc. shows the world in the darkest possible colors.
And here I received, in the middle of Shabbat rest, a very nice and compact practical example of what I have just learned in the Mishna.
The one-minute story had an additional comforting dimension: The passers-by were charedi and the women who 'let their house open' were dati-leumi, and that fact was completely irrelevant in that situation - another proof of how blindly we follow the black-and-rarely-white news, reporting on fierce battles and sin'at chinam (baseless hatred)  between various Jews. Yes, these battles exist, but there also exist numerous Jews, who, regardless their social profile, 'love peace and pursue peace' (Pirkei Avot 1, 12).
Shavua tov!

Wuthering heights

The day today opened its arms and received us, who waited for it patiently, yet eagerly, with a merciful and gladsome gesture. Even though we felt happy - it came again, and we had the pleasure to witness the blue, the white, the green, and blue again, this symphony of colors - there was also a taste of a - - - no-change. But is the day responsible for being sometimes the same as the previous one? By what right do I blame it for my feelings of "same again"? Who will stand up and defend the poor day? Hey, where are you all, the so-called heroes of the night? 
Do I need to come and say the truth? Oh, I shall do that, if you do not!!!
Here am I, the simple and the dull, here I cry out: The day is not to be blamed! It did everything possible to make you feel re-newed, re-freshed, relaxed. It presented all its beauty, the wide scale of smells and colors, that only waited for your understanding, for your motion, for the moment you will take them and gave them the meaning. The day and its entourage waited eagerly for you, and you just stood there staring at the ground, looking for the miracle. It was there, behind your back...